QUICK ANSWER
Write down each incident soon after it happens: the date, time and place, who was there, exactly what was said or done, and how it affected your work. Describe behavior rather than motives, keep the record somewhere private, and note whether anything about it relates to a protected characteristic or to a complaint you made, because the law treats those situations differently.
Bullying and harassment are not the same thing
“Bullying” is the everyday word for repeated mistreatment at work: shouting, put-downs, humiliating someone in front of others, sabotaging their work, freezing them out. It is not a legal category under federal law.
Unlawful harassment, as the EEOC describes it, is unwelcome conduct based on a protected characteristic such as race, sex or religion. It becomes unlawful when putting up with it is a condition of keeping your job, or when it is severe or pervasive enough to create a work environment a reasonable person would find intimidating, hostile or offensive. The EEOC adds that petty slights, annoyances and isolated incidents, unless extremely serious, will not rise to the level of illegality.
California uses the term “abusive conduct” in its employer training law. It means conduct in the workplace, with malice, that a reasonable person would find hostile and offensive and that is unrelated to the employer’s legitimate business interests. Repeated verbal abuse, threatening or humiliating conduct and gratuitous sabotage of someone’s work can qualify. A single act does not, unless it is especially severe and egregious. California’s labor department training material explains that abusive conduct is also illegal when it is motivated by a protected characteristic, and that abusive conduct that is not tied to one could still break your employer’s policy and be grounds for discipline.
What this means for you: you do not have to decide which label fits before you start writing. The same careful record helps whether you take it to your manager or HR, or later to an agency or attorney because a protected characteristic or retaliation turns out to be involved.
If you feel unsafe
If anyone threatens you or you feel physically unsafe, call your local emergency number. Report 2 HR is not an emergency service.
What to write for each incident
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Date and time.
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Where it happened, and whether it was in person, by message, by email or on a call.
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What was said or done, with exact words in quotation marks when you remember them.
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How it was said, described factually: “raised voice, standing about a foot away,” rather than “aggressive.”
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Who saw or heard it.
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What you did or said in response.
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How it affected your work: a missed deadline, a task taken away, a meeting you were left out of.
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Whether you told anyone, and what they said.
Describe behavior, not conclusions. “Sam shouted, ‘This is useless!’ across the room” is clearer than “Sam is a bully.” “My name was left off the Thursday invitation” is stronger than “they are freezing me out.”
Look for patterns
One bad day is hard to judge. A log shows how often something happens, whether it is aimed at you or at several people, whether it is getting worse, and whether it happens in front of others or only in private.
Also note anything that connects to a protected characteristic, such as comments about age, accent, religion, pregnancy or disability, and anything that began after you raised a concern or made a complaint. Those are the points where other legal protections can come into play.
What a log can look like
Apr 8, 9:15 am, team meeting (in person): Sam Example said, “Did you even read the brief? This is useless,” and dropped my printed draft on the table. Five people were present, including Dana Demo. I said I had followed the template.
Apr 11, 3:40 pm, email: Sam copied the whole department on a message listing “errors” in my report. Several were formatting differences. Sam had approved the same format by email on Apr 2 (saved).
Apr 16, 10:05 am, hallway: Sam said loudly, “Some people shouldn’t be here.” Lee Sample was walking past.
Apr 18: My name was left off the invitation to Thursday’s project review, which I had attended every week. Pat Example told me Sam sets the list. Impact: I missed the review and the decisions made there.
Names and events are made up for illustration.
What to do with your record
Many employers have conduct or respect-at-work policies that go further than the law, and HR can often act under those even when no law has been broken. Your log helps them see a pattern instead of a single complaint.
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Look in your handbook for the policy and the steps it describes.
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Consider raising it with your manager or HR, using your log to stay factual.
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If protected characteristics or retaliation are involved, check the deadlines early: the EEOC’s is generally 180 days, or 300 where a state or local agency also enforces a law, and California’s CRD is three years for employment cases.
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An employment attorney or legal aid office can tell you what applies to your facts.
The free report builder has a bullying topic and fields for each of these details. It runs on your device and sends nothing anywhere.
Private by design: nothing is sent to HR or to Report 2 HR. You decide what to do with the finished document.